Want to know the 4 steps to help your children live an aligned happy and authentic life from the beginning?
From a young age we are influenced in what we think and do. We are told what is right and
wrong, what we should believe and how we should act. Our parents, grandparents,
communities, friends and teachers all tell us how to behave and what we should value.
Imagine if, as a child, you were able to understand your core values and utilise those values
to live an aligned, happy and authentic life from the beginning.
Domonique Bertolucci, best-selling author of books such as ‘The Happiness Code’ and ‘100
Days Happier,’ says that our values are the DNA of our souls and that our values hold deep
insight into who we are as people. As adults we have an idea as to who we are and what
drives us, but our little people need a helping hand. So with the help of Domonique we have
put together our top 4 steps to instil core values in your child.
1. HELP IDENTIFY THEIR VALUES
This first step can be a little challenging. Sitting back and letting our children take the
reins isn’t easy. But giving your children the space to work out who they are and
what they value most is important. Do you have a little risk taker, a leader or an
introverted creative? What strengths do your children display most often? Talk
about their strengths and what makes them feel good.
2. SET INTENTIONS + GOALS
Set intentions for yourself to help your children explore their core values. Then
meet each intention with a set of goals. Taking action builds confidence and this will
help both yourself and your child in working towards those goals. If your child is
displaying behaviour that indicates they enjoy and value their opinion being heard,
how can you help them find their position in your family so that they feel they’re
being listened to? But have their independent voice heard in a family friendly way?
If this is difficult and values clash, how can you diffuse conflict through
communication and language?
3. INTRODUCE THEM TO AFFIRMATIONS
You can help guide your children towards their goals and intentions without fear of
failure and the ability to pivot by giving them regular words of affirmation. If your
little ones are struggling with an aspect of their goal, help them reframe the
experience. For example, if they are too shy to approach new kids at kindergarten
but you know they value friendship and kindness how can you frame an affirmation
to help build their confidence, something like “I am brave in making new friends” or
“I show kindness to my new friends.” Print out affirmations and include them in your
4. 10% IMPROVEMENT RULE
If we improve a little each day, we’re heading in the right direction. This applies to
both our children and us as parents. They can improve at working on their core
values and continuing to do so and pivot as they grow. Inevitably their core values
may change with the different stages in their lives. We as parents can also improve
by 10% at how we help frame and reframe these values. We may all joke that our
headstrong, independent and difficult toddlers will one day lead their peers, but the
truth is they probably will! If they’re displaying these personality traits and core
values at a young age and consistently, it is our job to help them build and nurture
these skills, just a little bit at a time. Encourage and praise your children not just for
their performance but their display of core values too.
Helping our children to identify and feel comfortable with their core values and embody
them at a young age means that we allow our children to forge their own path. There will
always be influence from the people around them, but the values at our very core are our
We hope these steps will help you with your children’s journey to living an aligned happy and authentic life.
If you would like to hear more from Domonique Bertolucci head to the podcast here or you
can download a number of her free resources here.
4 Steps to help your children live an aligned happy and authentic life