Host Amelia Phillips goes behind the scenes with parenting expert Gen Muir and resilience expert Vashti Whitfield giving an insight into each episode, what went well, what didn’t and helps us get to know the guests a little better.
Euphoria – TV Show: https://binge.com.au/shows/show-euphoria!1694
Atlas of the Heart – book by Brene Brown: https://www.amazon.com.au/Atlas-Heart-Meaningful-Connection-Experience/dp/1785043773
Be Here Now – Documentary: https://www.beherenowfilm.com/
A little Life – book by Hanya Yanagihara: https://www.dymocks.com.au/book/a-little-life-by-hanya-yanagihara-9781447294832
How to build a home – song by Patrick Watson: https://open.spotify.com/track/54KFQB6N4pn926IUUYZGzK?si=ab1e2fd93c51496f
Reckoner – song by Radiohead: https://open.spotify.com/track/02ppMPbg1OtEdHgoPqoqju?si=bbd4691cad4443fa
Below is an unedited transcript of the podcast episode:
Welcome to another Behind My Show episode. How’s your week? I’ve had a sick child home for a week, so I’ve been dealing with a lot of snot and a lot of coughing. It’s not covid, thankfully, and everyone else is fighting it off. You can probably hear I’m fighting it off too. I feel fine. Just a little bit on the snotty side.
Plus, I’ve been interviewing a. Bunch of people at the moment. I like to, with my episodes, I like to go through periods of intense interviewing and then having a little bit of a break. And I’m in one of those intense periods at the moment. So I am feeling quite inspired even though uh, I’ve got a little bit of sickness going on.
But it has got me thinking about the value of connecting with people who ignite you because even though I should be feeling a bit flat cuz of the sicknesses, I’m just. Jumping outta my skin at the moment. And I feel like it’s because I’ve been having these amazing conversations with people that have been energizing me and just filling me up with the richness of their wisdom.
So have a think about who in your network wakes you up. Energizes you, motivates you. Make time for them because both the guests I’ve had on my show this month, absolutely. Take Jen Mu now. She’s a parenting coach, social worker. I actually met Jen 15 years ago, would you believe it? In Gordy’s boxing class at 5:30 AM twice a week.
We used to meet up and get absolutely pummeled by this hilarious. Six foot four kind of Rastafarian Gordy, who was just such a character and he got us super fit, but also just used to smack talk the hell out of us. Anyway, Jen and I bonded there, and then I’ve watched her career grow and grow. As I said, social worker, parenting coach.
She’s now the mom of four beautiful boys, and she gives such amazing sound, practical, but also research backed advice, and I spoke to her about helping your kids through friendship fires, which was a really, really interesting chat. I got so much out of it. I hope you do or did as well, but here is a fast few to help you get to know the woman behind the expert.
Jen, what was the last meal you ate? Bitch, you might on toast. And actually I have this chicken kasu sandwich here that is so unhealthy that I brought to eat, but I didn’t get time to. Yeah, haven’t eaten it yet. It’s the hospital in here. So Vegemite toast. Love it. TV series that you’re into at the moment.
Euphoria. Terrifying. Ooh. Have you watched it? No. Well, it’s a look into Jen. Um, I think it’s Jen White. So under millennials, kids that are now kind of in their teenage years up to 22 now, and how they operate and the stuff they’re into, and oh my gosh. Oh. I’ll make to look that up. Scared to have teenagers
Oh gosh. I’m loving it. . Awesome. What about a book that you love? I’ve talked about it so much today, but probably Brene Brown. I’m reading Atlas of the Heart and loving that right now and listening to it as well. Love Brene. What’s on repeat on your music playlist? Taylor Swift . I’m doing quite a long and it’s amazing how many of my guests say Taylor Swift.
Honestly, the Hamilton soundtrack is on repeat in my house. I know every single word. Oh, you go. Karaoke join the musical . Amazing. I didn’t think with boys you’d be saying Taylor Swift or Hamilton. There you go. You know I’m driving the car, so Yeah, . Yeah, exactly. I’m in control of the playlist. I’m in control of the car.
What do you struggle with the most as a parent? Gosh, right now we’ve talked about it today, it would be feeling like I’m underdoing. Not being the parent screaming the loudest on the sideline, not intervening as much, and feeling like there’s a culture of people doing more of that. And then just thinking, have I got it all wrong?
I probably struggle with that. I used to struggle with dinner time. God, that was just the worst, as in just tantrums and cracking it and just kids not eating and all of. A hell hole of a time of day. Yeah. Um, but yeah, my youngest is now five and yeah, we’re coming out of that and we’re starting to have some really nice family meals, so
Aww. Well that’s good. That’s good light at the end of the tunnel. And what about for fun? What do you do for fun? I do lots of things, but I played basketball. Nice. And I had never, I never played a team sport all my life. And just before I turned 40, I said to a friend in the playground one day that I really wanted to play a team sport.
And she said, Join this basketball team. And so I played basketball and Are you loving it? I love it. It was like really hard to learn how to dribble and shoot and do a layoff at first, but I absolutely love it. Play with a bunch of middle aged women on a Sunday night, Nice and adore. And do the kids, are they really proud of you for doing it or are they just like, eye rolling?
Oh mom, what are you doing, ? Um, I think they love it. And I remember this one time, like I got like a layup, like a Michael Jordan move. , like you run down and your property. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Just as I did it, you know, my son was standing there and he saw it and you could just say he was like, Wow, that’s really cool.
So yeah. Proud kid moment. I think it’s a cool thing. And look as a mama, . I love that we can shoot hoops and talk. Yeah. Nice. And I just think it’s a great sort of thing to have long term, so Awesome. I do it for me. Love it. Thanks so much Jen. Pleasure.
I met Vashti Whitfield when we were both speakers at the Nurture U Event in Fiji in 2019. She is an absolute force to be reckoned with. She got the most incredible standing ovation after her very heart wrenching keynote about her story of her husband passing away from cancer when she had two very young children.
Such an inspirational story, but also what she did with the pain and the grief and how she’s turned that into the most incredible career. And she also turned it into a beautiful Netflix documentary called Be Here Now, which I highly recommend. She just cuts through the bs. She’s really confronting. As you will hear, if you have listened to our interview or you are gonna listen to our, I.
She is extremely knowledgeable in this space, but also has a really broad and creative mind of drawing you into the feeling of grief and how you can work through grief, whatever that looks like. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as your partner passing away, but grief shows itself in many, many form.
She’s energetic. She’s someone who’s grown so much through that grief. Anyway, I was really interested to hear her answers to my fast few and also change the tone cuz it was quite an intense conversation. So enjoy a fast few with beautiful Vashti Whitfield.
Fay, what’s a TV series that you’re into at the moment? My TV series at the moment is the staircase. Oh, I’m into it too. I’m only two episodes in, but omg, The Staircase column first, and Tony Colette. So based on the documentary, it is because of that, and I find it fascinating because I am eternally fascinated by.
The psychology of human beings and love and loss and what we will do. I’m just fascinated by it. It’s a murder mystery, guys. True story. I think it’s on binge, but the staircase very, very good. I haven’t seen the documentary and I’ve decided I’m not gonna watch the real documentary, which I think is on Netflix.
Until the series is over. And just while we’re on the show on the topic of shows, of course, listeners, please watch vashti’s documentary be here now. At the moment, we’ve just come off of Netflix, so go to the be Here now.com site and there’s information on how to watch it there. Okay, well, let’s move on to a book.
What’s a book that you love? My favorite book, I have so many. This is a really hard question, is A Little Life By Ha Ya and it’s my favorite book, A Little Life. Is it fiction or non-fiction? Or what is it about? A gripping, heartbreaking, remarkable tale of a set of friends and they’re different lives and it is.
Again, I’m sorry to sound repetitious. The different shades of how we cope with the most unimaginable childhoods and what that has us grow up to becoming. And it’s this beautiful, I guess, love story between friends and how friendship shapes us and how ever much you love you have. You don’t always have the strength to stay in this world, and that’s what it talks about.
It’s phenomenal. Oh, that sounds like a good one. That sounds. Okay. What about music? What’s on repeat on your playlist? Well, at the moment I’m moving around and it sounds a bit, I sounds so somber. I sound like this really depressive person. Not at all. If anyone’s met you, Vati, we know you are not somber.
You’re like an absolute firecracker. That’s what we love about you. One of my favorite pieces of music is how to build a home, and it’s the, I can’t think of who it’s by, but it’s a kind of a vocal and orchestral and it’s like this beautiful mix of kind of inspiring, beautiful, moving and very cool at the same time.
And then also one of my favorite all timers, which I’m moving through cause I’m making so many reels at the moment, is Reckoner by Radiohead, which is an old favorite. So there’s two there. So how to build a home and reckon. Oh, great. I am gonna add both of those cuz I’m not familiar with either of. What about for exercise?
What do you do for exercise? Oh, I’m a, I’m a sort of exercise groupie slash junkie, so I’m always on the sand in the morning. So I’m either soft sand running down at the beach or soft sand walking, which is very intense and wonderful. And then I rotate between yoga, Pilates, and jumping around doing something that stretches me out.
And then I have to walk my fat American staffy who’s getting like me a little thick around the middle . So there’s a lot of dog walking going. What about for fun? What does Vati do for fun these days? Fun’s a really interesting one. It is all about connecting with really rich and phenomenal people, and I am about to start to do a little bit of standup comedy again.
That’s what I love. Yes. I love it. Love it, love it. Omg. That just. To me, it would be like my worst fear to get up and look at a crowd and try to make them laugh. , you know, uh, Jim Gaffigan, one of my favorite comedians, said he did a standup and he stood up. Um, he did his piece at this rodeo and this like terrifying, big.
Dude that, you know, rides these like crazy. I don’t wanna be ridden animals. Came up to him and said, You’re a standup comedian. That’s the scariest thing in the world to do. And Jim Gaffigan looked at him and, and said, You ride a beast that could stab you to death. Standup comedy is nothing. It’s just about connecting with the audience.
That’s all it’s about. Oh my gosh, you are one brave woman. Uh, finally, Vashti, when you look at your life right now, what makes you proud? As predictable as it sounds, I. My kids, and particularly both of them obviously, but I look at my son who’s about to leave school, who’s spent now 10 years of his 17 years without his dad physically in his life.
And I just look at this human being who is like yoga with a much more handsome face. And I just, I’m in awe. I’m in awe that I have had something to do with who he is. I am so proud. Being, uh, not just something vashti quite a lot to do with the young man that’s in front of you right now. Come on, don’t be humble,
No, I call myself Sherpa’s. We just guide people up the mountain. That’s all we do. We stop ’em falling off and then we let them climb. So I’m very proud of who he is in the world. It’s, he’s remarkable. Oh, that is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much. My pleasure.
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